Flotsam and Jetsam [46]

By David Winkworth

New South Wales’ newest corporation, the National Parks and Wildlife Company, are perfecting their ‘clean burn’ technology on Montague Island.

Faced with the burgeoning problem of too much kikuyu grass and too many penguins on Montague Island, the company’s R&D division were tasked to solve this multi-strand problem.

The boffins at NPWC R&D chose a radical solution which is just stunning in its simplicity. They set fire to the island!

In an emphatic display of 21st Century technology at work, ten hectares of horrible kikuyu were burnt along with 42 equally horrible penguins. Problem solved!

NPWC is now believed to be one of the front runners for this year’s Excellence in Industry Awards.

Industry analysts are now waiting to see if the NSW Sea Kayak Club will make another application to NPWC for permission to land on the island during paddling trips. The Club is expected to argue that the extermination of marauding penguin hordes and the torching of impenetrable undergrowth has at last made the island safe for visiting sea kayakers.

Further developments as they come to hand.