Quotable Notables [44]

I have it… using all the techniques which earned me a PhD in Coastal Geomorphology, I have isolated the one common factor in kayak incidents, scary and otherwise.

It is… water! In the case of sea kayaks, predominantly sea water!

The answer is obvious. In order to keep accidents to an absolute minimum, it is imperative that kayaks avoid water. To prove my point, I would like to use Jim Croft himself as an example. Over the past two years, his sea kayak has not been immersed in water AND Jim Croft has not had a single scary kayak incident in that time.

So sprouted the OSD, the Club’s foremost expert on mind-boggling, ridiculous information

The difference is amazing… it is almost like having a sex-change…

From a kayaker who wishes to remain anonymous, commenting on the paddling differences between a Nadgee and a Mirage kayak. It was not clear how this paddler came to this conclusion as no evidence was forthcoming… as always, our investigations continue…

Any man contemplating a full-on relationship with a woman should first paddle with her in a double kayak. Here he will find if she is pre-disposed to paddling or not, and her views on steering.

For it is common these days for women to want to both sit in the front AND steer, and this is why so many relationships carve such an erratic course… and always dangerously close to the rocks.

Mark ‘Fishkiller’ Pearson… what more needs to be said?

Any woman worth her salt who sits in the front of a double and can clearly see the obstacles ahead, will want to know that the grunting, stroking, steering powerhouse in the back seat will sometimes listen to her dulcet tones rather than always following his own blind instincts – thus avoiding the capsize that never had to happen.

Robyn Culhane, putting some fire into Fishkiller’s belly

You Flotsam people give me the shits the way you always try to stir up trouble…

‘Fishkiller’… again …