Flotsam and Jetsam [42]

“Fishkiller” Files

In an effort to maintain his political incorrectness, Mark ‘Fishkiller’ Pearson twists the knife again, and instinctively ducks for cover beneath the splintered remains of his kayak.

In response to the interesting and informative Hand Signals for Sea Kayakers in Issue 41 of NSW Sea Kayaker, Fishkiller offers the following ‘useful’ hand signals that he considers more appropriate to the kayaking needs of NSWSKC paddlers.

Six years of Club membership have taken their toll on Fishkiller’s fragile mental ecosystem, and he is now accepting donations for his extended stay in the specially prepared NSWSKC Rubber Room.

Hand Signals for Sea Kayakers
Signal Meaning
Hand Signal watch out… a Mirage!
Hand SignalHand Signal Mirages… lots of them!
Hand SignalHand Signal I was paddling with Mirages but they’ve disappeared over the horizon!
Hand Signal watch out… a Pittarak!
Hand SignalHand Signal go away nasty Pittarak!
Hand SignalHand Signal a Pittarak has rammed me and I’m sinking
Hand SignalHand Signal a Pittarak has rammed me, I’m sinking and drifting onto the rocks!
Hand Signal Aaaaaaarrrghh!
Hand Signal my kayak has broken in two
Hand Signal my fingers are also broken!
Hand Signal does anyone have any duct tape?
Hand Signal (much later) – how much for a new sea kayak?
Hand Signal bugger that… I’m taking up bushwalking!!

Advertisements