Humour [40]

Arunas should be thankful that we don’t have polar bears

Norwegians imperiled by polar bear

Oslo, Norway (AP) Two Norwegian adventurers spent 12 days stranded on an arctic island because a hungry polar bear destroyed their two kayaks. Jens Abild and Simen Havig-Gjelseth set off in mid-June on a 700-mile trek around Spitsbergen, the main island of Norway’s far north Svalbard Archipelago, the Nordlys newspaper reported: After almost two months of paddling through the icywaters, they had less than 190 miles to go, when they were unloading supplies into a borrowed cabin and a huge polar bear caught scent of the dried food in their kayaks. The bear ripped the boats into tiny pieces to get at the free meal. On Saturday, a Norwegian coastguard helicopter spotted the two men waving frantically and arranged their rescue. Both were in good condition.

And if that wasn’t enough Dave Winkworth had a bad encounter with a hostile duck while paddling up the Bega River. “It came across the water like an exocet missle”. Commented our fearless crocodile fighter. Dave just managed to avoid serious injury by putting his paddle up in front of him as the duck rammed home with a flurry of weathers. “Give me the safe North Queensland waters any time”. Said a shaky Dave in the pub afterwards.

Remember our visiting American Businessman

Our American Businessman was so taken by the breathtaking beauty of the South coast ofNSW that he decided to come back and stay a while. Being business oriented he decided to see how our kayaking entrepreneurs were going. He found out some interesting things about the south coast.

As the region was so far from the big smoke they had developed their own currency known as the “wink” and that the average price for a kayak was “forty winks” and that the American just had to ask (because of his background in foreign currency)

“What is a wink worth?”

“Not much,” was the reply.

Once upon a time kayaks were made of real stuff like wood. This provided an industry for the locals known as “Sanders” but alas this died off and now fibreglass is the “Norm”.

One of the kayakers was concerned about the commitment of the others and felt they didn’t put the same “Tender Loving Care” into their creations.

We have heard there is another kayaker making boats on the central coast but this may be an illusion.

This little snippet was supplied by one of Rudyard Kipling’s heroes, while driving a van around Holland.