Flotsam and Jetsam [27]

‘Inuit Classic’ News

Bateman’s Bay is buzzing. The news is out that the mould is complete and that work on coamings and fittings is underway. It is now hoped that prototype models will be available in July for club officials to ‘roadtest’. In an unexpected development, the entire production team has moved to a secret site away from the hothouse atmosphere of Bateman’s Bay. ‘You wouldn’t believe the tricks that the media are using to try and get a shot of the mould – you’d think it had a winged keel! said Production Manager Mike Foskett. Mr Foskett went on ‘our aim is to produce a kayak that will be a market leader – our competitors are obviously worried and nothing will be left to chance’.

Again playing down persistent rumours of friction between the production team and it’s gifted if headstrong designer, Mr Foskett added ‘Mr. Sanders is always welcome at the workshop – if he can find it!’

Bizarre Incident

The National Parks and Wildlife Service has contacted the club regarding some bizarre activities observed recently by a Ranger on an island off the NSW coast. The Ranger reported seeing a group of kayakers engaging in a bizarre, possibly occult, ritual. Through binoculars, he observed;

  • a sea kayak carried from the beach by six ‘pall bearers’
  • mysterious wailing and chanting as the group examined the hull (may it have been damaged?)
  • the anointing of the said hull with a number of strange potions
  • the final sacrifice of the hapless kayak over a huge wood fire.

Although it is highly unlikely that these activities could be attributed to NSWSKC members, please contact the Club President if you can shed any light on the matter. Confidentiality is guaranteeed.

Club Change of Name

In recognition of his constant involvement in club activities and the sheer weight of contributions to this and recent magazines, the Executive have decided on a more appropriate name for the club – without the expense of changes to labels etc. The NSWSKC is now the Norm Sanders Wooden Sea Kayak Club.

Farewell to Evan Shillabeer

Evan Shillabeer (one of the Club’s recent Bass Strait crossing heroes) and his ravishing consort Michelle are headed North for warmer climes prior to heading off for an extended overseas trip. Those who know and love him are invited to come along and wish him a fond farewell at [snip] on the 22nd of June from 8.00pm onwards.

Awards

Congratulation to the following members for gaining the N.S.W.B.C.E. Instructional awards.

Senior Sea Instructor

  • David Winkworth
  • Evan Shillabeer

Sea Instructor

  • Norm Sanders
  • Dirk Stuber
  • Ron Mudie

Members should familiarise themselves with the appropriate etiquette should they be lucky enough to meet a paddler with the status of Senior Instructor or Instructor.

When greeting a Senior Instructor, male members should bow at the waist, female members should curtsy. An appropriate greeting would be ‘it is a great honour to meet you SSI WInkworth’ or, alternatively, ‘my pitiful life has meaning from this moment, SSI Shillabeer’. In no circumstances lay hands on or make eye contact with a Senior Instructor unless invited to do so!

The rules concerning Instructors are less restrictive. They may be addressed by their civilian title eg. Mr Mudie. Bowing/curtsying is optional and discrete eye contact may be made. Body contact is usually welcomed. Members should, however, respect an Instructor’s right to the best tent site and choice of cooking position at Club weekends.

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