Flotsam and Jetsam [26]

‘Inuit Classic’ News

The first fibreglass version of Norm Sander’s plywood ‘TAKU’ is still to emerge from its Batemans Bay production facility – testing the patience of a contingent of sea-kayak magazine reporters keen to get shots of this breakthrough design.

Production manager, Mike Foskett , has denied rumours that the delay is caused by heated and ongoing clashes with the designer over production standards.

‘As Im sure you’d appreciate, Norm’s not exactly the easiest character to work with 10 hours a day, and there’s been times when I’ve wished I’d never seen a sea-kayak, but we’re getting there said a tired and drawn Mr. Foskett. The official reason for the delay is unusually busy holiday season for the general marine section of the plant.

Apology

the NSW Sea Kayaker would like to apologise for previously stating that the ‘Classic’ was 14′ 6″ – it is, of course, a very proud 15′ 6″.

News Flash

Horrified Canberran car and sea kayak owners gasped in disbelief as their seemingly benign yellow Puffin turned viciously against their white station wagon and maliciously cracked the windscreen from one side to the other.

What horrified the owners most was the Puffin’s sinistre and shrewd use of the laws of physics, using the stress of differential expansion on a hot day to exploit a small chip in the unsuspecting windscreen.

Cunningly positioning itself on the roofrack between the sun and the windscreen, the malevolent kayak shaded, cooled and contracted one part on the helpless windscreen, while the sun heated and expanded the remainder.

Unable to withstand the excrutiating pressure, the windscreen developed an agonizing crack along its entire length. The distraught owners fear that the windscreen will have to be put down, and the constabulary have confirmed that this is indeed the case.

‘I just can not understand it.’ said one of the owners. ‘It can’t have been jealousy – we never take the car paddling in interesting places, the kayak is allowed in the house – and the kayak is always on top when they get together.’

Enquiries of car owners with sea kayaks reveal that this is not the first time such an unprovoked attack by a kayak on a flawed windscreen has occured, and the community is worried when next will two treasured posessions turn against each other, or indeed against their owners or innocent bystanders, remembering earlier carnage of cars driving over kayaks or cars letting go kayaks from roofracks at high speed.

The atmosphere here in the nation’s capital is quiet, but tense…

Lost

Left behind actually at the Pancake Weekend at Mystery Bay: Aluminium folding chair with orange webbing and dark blue windcheater. If no-one claims these items I’ll take them to the local Police for forensic examination – there are a few stains on the windcheater which may tell us what the owner has been eating! That should narrow down the search!

While talking about lost things, no-one has claimed the tent poles I have from the Rock ‘n Roll Weekend. There must be someone out there who is wondering why their tent,is pitching lower than normal! See description in last magazine.
Dave Winkworth

Paddlers Haven Closes

Paddlers Haven, the Tuross Heads guesthouse catering exclusively for sea-kayakers, is to close down for three months from early May. The reason – owner manager Norm Sanders intends to return to his native US for a well deserved holiday. Ive been running the Haven seven days a week for the last two years all by myself, with little in the way of thanks said Mr Sanders and I sure as hell need a break from large groups of fussy and ravenous sea paddlers.

Foreign Correspondent

The good news is Norm Sanders, will be checking out the US and Canadian Sea-Kayaking scenes while on his extended vacation. Norms reports on trends in North American sea-kayaking will be welcome reading in coming issues.

Simon’s Epic Voyage

Well, Simon is still paddling away on the second part of his voyage around Cape York – hopefully we will have all the details in the next issue – Ed.

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